I think it’s appropriate to address the theme of “Fear & Anxiety” in the month of October. The first thing that comes to mind when I think of October is ghosts, witches, pumpkins, candy, etc. The same cannot be said for fear and anxiety when I think of my everyday fears such as doing something wrong/failing, not having everything “just right”, people thinking badly of me, etc. To me, I can handle ghosts, witches, and goblins all day, but my everyday fears are what keep me up at night.
The fear that we don’t talk about or hear about much is the fear of healing. Fear of getting well. We don’t necessarily think this, but subconsciously we are afraid of healing. In this blog I talk about signs of this fear, reasons why we might have this fear, and what we are missing out on when giving in to this fear.
Signs that show we might have a fear of healing:
Avoiding thinking positively of ourselves
Constantly playing the victim
Feeling we aren’t worth it
Feeling we are a “lost cause”
Not believing we can do it
What are we exactly afraid of and why?
It’s our identity.
Our entire identity is surrounded by our trauma and our struggles. Who are we if we don’t have this anymore? Does this mean I’m like everyone else now?
Putting pride aside.
Before we start to heal, we have to actually admit we are struggling or are having a problem in our lives. This means taking a look at ourselves and recognizing what we don’t like, which can be one of the more difficult steps to accomplish in this process.
Because our trauma is our identifier, we fear what follows, which is the unknown. What will life look like now? Will I see people differently?
We are scared of what it will take to get well. In order to heal we have to do things differently, which means we have to do things we don’t normally do. This makes us feel uncomfortable.
Healing means that much in our lives will change, including thoughts and feelings. We will begin to see things differently. Change is hard to undergo.
People in our life.
When we start to heal, we start to also see things in a different, healthier way. This is also true for people in our lives. We may start to view people differently. For example, we may start to recognize that we are in a toxic relationship with our significant other and hadn’t realized this before. This is because we see things through a clearer lens.
Difficult steps & life decisions.
Healing is something that is always changing and can always continue to look and feel different. Once we start viewing things differently and seeing through a clearer lens, we will also recognize things we might need to do in order to continue to heal and move forward. This may mean changing jobs, having difficult conversations with loved ones, cutting toxic people and/or things out of our life. These steps can be extremely difficult; however, it may be necessary for you to continue to move forward in a positive and healthy way.
All these things can be challenging and down-right scary. However, we have to look at the alternative. If we don’t heal, or even take the steps necessary to try to heal, it can affect us greatly. By letting our fears get the best of us, outcomes can result in several different ways.
Giving in to the fear of healing can:
Compromise our mental health
Force us to stay in toxic relationships
Continue to let people to take advantage of us
Allow our self-worth and self-esteem to diminish
Stop happiness and joy from entering our lives
Failure to accomplish our goals
Hinderance of reaching our true and undying potential
Keep the cycle going and hurting other people
Pushing or driving healthy people out of our lives
Seeing a decline in our physical health
Sometimes we have to look at the fine print to see all the risks that come with it, however, sometimes the risk is worth it. At least we can say that we tried and that we didn’t sit around doing nothing. At least we can say we faced our fears.
If we never push against our fears, we never grow and learn. It’s okay to be scared, nervous, anxious, etc. These feelings do not mean we can’t do the things we are passionate about doing or that we are incapable. These feelings are just feelings, they don’t have to control us when it comes to healing.
Remember…….we CAN do hard things!
“Thinking will not overcome fear but action will.” -W. Clement Stone
If you’d like to start your journey toward healing, contact me here.