Monet David Blog

I’ve got a confession to make. I am so sick of people finding out what I do for a living and then saying the absolute most out of pocket stuff to me followed by, “Well, you know, you’re a therapist.” Usually, the statement is about being hypersensitive, or empathic or having poor boundaries (they think it’s a good thing). Can’t relate. You know why? I went to school for 3 years to learn about boundaries and to understand that to be a good therapist I must be professional and ethical in my practice. And it’s just that—a practice. Since becoming a therapist, I have learned to NEVER compare myself to another professional. So, you’ll never find me saying, “I’m the hair stylist friend,” or “I’m the accountant of my friend group” because I have a deep abiding respect for other people’s professions and education. As the youth say, I stay in my lane. So here a few more things you should avoid saying when you find out someone is a therapist…

One of the beautiful things about therapy is the possibility it possesses. I have had the pleasure of witnessing growth right before my eyes as folks come to understand themselves on a deeper level. I am fortunate enough to have highly motivated clients who show up consistently, ready to hit the ground running and offer me the chance to point out incongruencies or patterns of behavior that can help them become better versions of themselves. But I have a secret to share with you—sometimes just showing up to session isn’t enough.

Picture it—I stand before you, perfect erect posture, an ornate hat placed upon my head and bedecked in some sort of religious garb. I beckon you to come forth and hear my wise words and you are hypnotized by the image before you. The atmosphere mimics the final scene of that one movie where Bill Murray whispers into Scarlett Johansson’s ear and the audience is none the wiser but desperately wishes they were. This time you get to be privy to information. I gently say to you, “Stop being the therapist friend. It’s not necessary. Just be, like, a good supportive friend.”

The therapeutic relationship is such a fascinating concept to me. I invite you, as my client, to join me, your therapist, in an intimate, vulnerable space with clear set boundaries. It seems like for many clients this is a novel experience. They are typically seeking counseling services to address interpersonal conflicts wrought with enmeshment and boundary violations. In these contexts, therapy can serve as a model for what positive, open relationships can look like in one’s life.

When a parent decides to bring their child to therapy, there are a lot of feelings that accompany that decision. There is a tremendous amount of pressure on parents to be everything for their children—provider, comforter, mentor, etc. So, it is safe to assume that if their child requires professional intervention regarding their emotions or behavior it could feel like an indictment on a parent’s abilities.

Can we talk about gender? I mean, it’s all that’s talked about these days and so it’s not a stretch to ask, but what if we really talked about it? Let’s say your child, your daughter in this example, comes to you and says, “Mom (or Dad or Grandma, you get the picture), I’m not a girl.” How do you react? What does this mean for you? Your family? Is your world turned upside down? It’s a lot to take in. Especially if you haven’t considered what gender means to you. So, let’s do that now.

When I hear the word ‘embodiment’......My eyes roll into the back of my head, and are permanently stuck there. This confession makes me feel like the worst therapist in the entire world.

Sex is something that most of us participate in, gain enjoyment from, and even utilize to create families. It’s something that people have shamed, derided, and made out to be a disgusting act (usually stemming from traumatic experiences, misinformation or implicit negative messaging). So I am choosing to talk about sex openly in my next few blogs--which makes me pretty radical. Did you know that Louisiana does not require instruction in sexual health education at any grade level but does allow sexual health education to be taught in grades 7^th –12^th?

Dirty mirror selfie for your nerves. 

Recently, a client admitted they had been searching for an older, gay male clinician. They desired to connect with an elder from within their own community. Who can blame them? But, as they discovered, there really aren’t any in Lafayette, Louisiana.

Grief is such an elusive topic. Throughout the years serving children, adolescents and adults I’ve witnessed grief in the most unsuspecting places.