Have you ever had a dream that seemed so out of reach, so impossible to achieve? And the shame of not being able to achieve it became unbearable so overtime you slowly buried it deep within you, and now you have forgot about it altogether. If so, then welcome to my brain, my office, my world– where we will be uncovering and exploring those hopes and dreams hidden in the dark corner of your soul.
K.D. Holmes Blog
Sometimes in my office people are curious about me. Some ask what do I struggle with? There is an assumption that therapists do not struggle because of what they know. Knowing and doing are two different types of learning. I had an anxiety disorder for most of my life. I suffered from depression and anxiety when I was a child and young adult.
Many of my clients would never guess that I have social anxiety. If you watch my videos, it would seem highly unlikely that I become overwhelmed when I am around a group of people I don't know. There is a big misnomer that if we know better we do better...but knowing is not learning. The two are completely different concepts. You can read a book about brain surgery, but doing it is a learning process based on lots of actions.
Well this is one complicated question, but I will attempt to sum it up as best as I can. Overachieving is made up of habits, personality traits, mental health symptoms, our history, and social networks -- which makes for a complicated way through this issue.
Gratitude is an oldy-but-goody thought practice that can change your mental focus from the glass is half-empty to half-full. It's an example of one of my favorite DBT skills -- acting opposite. I am reminded of it weekly when clients start to feel better by resistantly practicing acting opposite.
As the Hurricanes creeps closer, I allow myself to accept the facts that it will (according to the facts of the forecast),affect us. With so much social media exposure and news forecasting on this impending doom, I feel overwhelmed.
Moving through is composed of acceptance, mindfulness, and accessing your wise mind. Acceptance is accepting the facts both external and internal.
By accepting our reactions/feelings, then sitting with your feelings, (a mindfulness practice), this enables accessing your wise mind for guidance on moving through any problem.
Noticing your victories can have a profound affect on your mental health. I know many of you say that sounds too easy... but, when your brain is full of all the things you did not do, all of your inadequacies, all your cant's and should's, noticing your victories begins the positive inner snowball needed for change to occur.
Part two of my gratitude blog: let's take this day to thank and notice the fathers and father figures in our lives. It does not have to be your own, but notice someone who inspires you and heals your soul.My father died about a year and half ago, suddenly and shockingly. Time helps to heal those wounds, but this day reminds me of my grief. I miss him so much, more than I ever would have imagined. So today I want to honor him.
Can a daily practice of gratitude grow "good" feelings in ourselves and in others? Gratitude is an old practice that nurtures and deepens relationships with others and within ourselves.