K.D. Holmes Blog

A core aspect of my practice centers on supporting adults who grapple with anxiety and depression due to their relentless pursuit of perfection and overachieving.

Have you ever had a dream that seemed so out of reach, so impossible to achieve?  And the shame of not being able to achieve it became unbearable so overtime you slowly buried it deep within you, and now you have forgot about it altogether. If so, then welcome to my brain, my office, my world– where we will be uncovering and exploring those hopes and dreams hidden in the dark corner of your soul.

As I personally loathe fad trends in eating and exercise, I immediately felt annoyed when my physician suggested a book by Mark Sisson's Primal Endurance. Assuming the content would cover those things exactly. Nevertheless, I had paid to see this doctor, so I desisted and bought the book.

There are so many new terms that float around social media. My favorite one right now is Neurodiversity.  This term has provided self compassion and acceptance of myself and ultimately my brain.

Many of my clients often inquire about the meaning of ERP. Exposure and Response Prevention may sound formal and technical, but in simple terms, it is a behavioral process that brings order to the chaos of the OCD merry go round. It involves systematically confronting your obsessions while resisting the urge to engage in compulsive behaviors. ERP becomes even more effective when combined with various other skills and techniques.

Sometimes in my office people are curious about me. Some ask what do I struggle with? There is an assumption that therapists do not struggle because of what they know. Knowing and doing are two different types of learning. I had an anxiety disorder for most of my life. I suffered from depression and anxiety when I was a child and young adult.  

During my first session with a client (also known as “the intake session”) I always ask no matter what the mental health issue—

Conventionally, most people understand the concept of how our bodies operate. The brain, as the central processor, conjures up the command for an action, then, via the nervous system, sends the signal to the body part that needs moving or to the gland that will produce the hormones to signal the response that is needed.

Well this is one complicated question, but I will attempt to sum it up as best as I can. Overachieving is made up of habits, personality traits, mental health symptoms, our history, and social networks -- which makes for a complicated way through this issue.  

Overachieving is comprised of emotional urges, habits, and so much lost time.  I was constantly consumed by the urge to achieve, while outwardly it appeared like I was thriving. Ultimately the internal costs far outweighed any of my successes.