Who am I, and how the hell did I get here?

“Who am I, and how the hell did I get here?” 

Life has a way of pushing us toward answers we didn't know we needed. For me, the search for "who I am" and "where I'm heading" wasn’t always a priority but rather a necessity born from a pivotal demand for change, that included overcoming addiction.

In 2010, I entered a treatment facility with fear and great hesitation about how to stay sober. Even though I did not want to be there, something inside of me had the willingness for listening, internalizing the new information, and applying it to my life. This took incredible work on my part to change my script in life, but I maintained the course and have stayed sober since. 

From that point on, I knew I had to help others. The treatment center that I attended offered me two things: part time work and a chance to become a CIT (counselor in training for addictions). I took both opportunities and as I worked as the cleaning lady part time for the facility, I began my process of becoming an addictions counselor. From there, I became a Registered Addictions Counselor three years later. At the young age of 57 years old, I decided to go to graduate school to continue my education in mental health disorders. The rest is history – and even though it was a long and arduous journey, I kept my eye on the prize. 

This journey to get where I am today was not always easy, but I had the support of a good therapist and trusted people in my life. They believed in me, even when I struggled to believe in myself. I had no idea that what I needed was a change. I had never delved so deeply into my own thoughts because my entire life was spent avoiding them. I had “stuff” that needed to be addressed in order to facilitate change. I was told, “the only way out is through.” It made sense to me and that’s when I started my journey. It wasn’t easy, but it was transformational. Through self-reflection, the pursuit of truth, and the willingness to seek help, I uncovered my authentic self and learned to love every facet of who I am. Trauma may have shaped me, but it no longer defined me. Instead, it has become a springboard to a fulfilled and purpose-driven life.

Helping Others Break Free

My self-transformation inspired me to help others who also felt lost, stuck, or overwhelmed by a distorted perception of themselves and/or the world. I had lived most of my life stuck in the cyclical negative cognitions that addiction fed me. Through working the 12-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I began to understand that addiction wasn’t who I was, but rather, what I did. Who I was had been covered by fear and avoidance and it took working on myself to rediscover who I was and what I valued. My understanding of change is this:” Everyday requires change because time will never stand still, so I have to ebb and flow with the complexities of my life.” Using my past as a foundation for change, I built a life of self-acceptance and forgiveness—not in spite of my experiences, but because of them! 

I’ve made it my mission to guide others on the path toward self-discovery and positive change. Many of us are hindered by our thoughts—those self-defeating whispers that tell us we aren’t good enough or capable enough. I’ve learned that thoughts are incredibly powerful and challenging them is often the first step towards change.

Mindfulness and CBT

Most individuals have difficulty living in the present moment, unfortunately. This lack of practicing mindfulness often adds to negative thoughts about who we are and where we are going, and this brings about unwanted anxiety. I, too, have struggled with this! For example, at my past jobs, every time my boss would call me to the office, I was sure I was going to be fired. These negative thoughts were based on previous negative cognitions about myself, and who I was. I could never think that perhaps my boss was calling me to the office to give me praise, or to even give me a raise! Not one time did she indicate that she was going to fire me, or that I was doing a poor job, and yet I still had those thoughts! It took changing my mindset in a more positive direction, and grounding myself in realistic thoughts, to go to her office and not be scared. I had to learn how to be in the present, and to stop thinking that everything was going to go in a negative direction!  This took work on my part, but the relief it brought me is priceless – I want to share these skills with you, too. 

I bring the tools that I have learned to the therapy room with the empathy of lived experience. When working with clients, I use a flexible, multimodal approach tailored to each individual’s needs and goals. Whether through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), or Cognitive Processing Therapy, my focus is to challenge negative thought patterns and help clients rewrite the narratives holding them back. However, therapy isn't just about addressing behaviors—it’s about fostering a space where honesty, authenticity, and growth can flourish.

The Fear of Change—and the Freedom Embracing Change Brings

Once we pick up on mindfulness skills, perhaps through CBT and DBT in the therapy room, we should then use these tools to lean into change. 

Change is one of life’s great paradoxes. It’s simultaneously terrifying and liberating. It’s unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and void of guarantees—but it’s also the key to unlocking possibilities we’ve only imagined. I often tell my clients, “Freedom and security come from confronting the unknown, not avoiding it.” It is within those uneasy moments that we discover not just who we are, but the immense strength we already possess.

How many times have we thought to ourselves, "I wonder if I could…" only to let the thought dissolve under the weight of fear or doubt? Self-defeating beliefs are often rooted in past experiences and trauma that shape our identities and influence our mental health. It’s important to remember that trauma is personal. It doesn’t matter if someone else appears unaffected by the same event—your experience is valid, and it matters. 

Change isn’t linear. It’s filled with steps forward, backward, and sideways. But with consistency and practice, it becomes a part of your life—just like learning any new skill. Even on the days I stumble, I remind myself that progress, not perfection, is the goal. Falling short doesn’t mean failure; it means being human.

I believe that everyone has the ability to change their life by learning effective tools and reframing their mindset. 

Defining Mental Health and Reclaiming Your Power

Anxiety

To me, mental health challenges aren’t signs of weakness; they’re signals of imbalance in the mind. The brain, much like the body, can become strained and overwhelmed over time. Take anxiety, for example. Anxiety is a constant companion for me—so much so, that even my child once pointed out how it often “gets in the way of my happiness.” That comment struck a chord. Anxiety certainly had become a barrier between me and joy. 

In addition to these imbalances, mental health disorders can also cause physical discomfort in our bodies. Anxiety can cause pain in the neck and shoulders and create a lack of cortisol in the body, or even an over-production of it. There is a book called The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, that explains how we carry our pain in our bodies. Everything is connected– mind, spirit, and body. It is important that we treat the whole body, not just one part.  

Using a combination of these strategies, therapy, and, yes, medication, I’ve learned to manage my anxiety by challenging the automatic, negative thoughts that used to dominate my mind. It is a practice I continue to refine, and it is one I share with my clients. Shifting those internal narratives requires effort, but the results—a more authentic, fulfilling life—are worth it.

Self-Efficacy, Not Magic

If any part of this resonates with you, take heart. Growth is possible. Healing is possible. But it starts with your willingness to ask yourself the hard questions. 

Do you struggle with negative thoughts? 

Feel trapped by self-doubt? 

Find it difficult to love yourself as you are? 

Do you avoid asking for help or shy away from change out of fear? 

If the answer is yes, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to face this alone. 

What I offer is not magic. I can’t “fix” anyone, nor do I claim to have all the answers. What I can do is work with you to unlock your potential and build the tools you need to thrive. Clinicians call this “self-efficacy”—the belief in your ability to succeed. With this belief, you can start to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

Don’t feel overwhelmed with how much there is to do! This kind of anxious thinking will crush your beliefs about change. Getting started is the first step, embrace the process one step at a time. The expression, “one day or one step at a time” is often used because it helps us focus only on what is in front of us instead of focusing on the entire picture. Focusing on the entire picture can be overwhelming and will draw us back into the kind of negative thinking we are trying to fix! 

You can do this, breathe into it. 

Creating a Space for Growth on the Path to Self-Discovery

My goal as a therapist is to create a space where you feel safe, seen, and supported. Judgment has no place here. This is a space where your thoughts don’t have to “make sense” and where your voice, even if uncertain, will always be heard. Together, we’ll untangle the complexities of your experiences and uncover the strength you already carry within you using some of the tools I’ve acquired through my own experiences:

Therapy Modalities

Narrative Therapy

EMDR

Brainspotting

CBT

DBT

Mindfulness-based practices

Together, we’ll address the “stuck parts” in your mind—those lingering thoughts and emotions that hold you back from fully engaging with life. I’ll help you confront discomfort with curiosity rather than fear, fostering awareness that becomes the foundation for change.

And so, we come full circle to that question: “Who am I, and how the hell did I get here?” 

The answers to that question are within you, waiting to be unearthed. Together, we can explore your story, extract its lessons, and use them to build a future filled with self-love, acceptance, and purpose. This isn’t about erasing who you have been—it’s about honoring your experiences, reframing your perspective, and stepping into the person you were always meant to be. It’s about uncovering the freedom that comes with knowing and loving yourself completely.  This process takes work and determination, and I am here to help you re-discover who you are, or who you have always been.  

I will help you uncover those characteristics of yourself that have been hidden from your mind and affecting your potential from love and growth. Nothing in this world can inhibit your growth but your own thinking! I will be here to help you challenge those negative beliefs and the truth about yourself so you can move forward with your life and become “unstuck.”

 Are you ready to begin? I’m here, and I’m ready to walk this path with you. 

The only way out, is through.