Many of my clients ask what ERP stands for? Exposure and Response Prevention sounds so formal and technical. Simply put, it is a process that creates ORDER out of mental CHAOS. It works by systematically facing your obsessions while abstaining from your compulsions. ERP is helpful when combined with lots of other skills.
What if for your New Year's resolution you did not choose something that was perfectionistic, self-hating, idealistic, and counter to how you live your life? So many New Year's Resolutions are created from our emotional minds.
What if you threw out expectations of yourself, idealized images, and cultural views super imposed upon you? Do you think listening to these parts keeps you from giving into a hedonistic life style? What if you wiped your internal slate clean? Would it frighten you to choose from your authentic self?
So in addition to holiday stress, some of us can add in our internal struggles that don’t stop simply because it’s the holidays. It can feel bleak and never-ending like a Zombie Apocalypse.
Imagine you have an internal stress bucket that is half full from the year, then add in more stress from the holidays, and more stress because of your mental health. This is a recipe for your stress bucket to overflow this holiday season.
As I am trying to unpack a person's struggle I often think...What is it like to be you? What is it like to have your upbringing, to have your brain, and to manage all of that in your own way? For better or worse we are a culmination of genetics, social factors, and how we cope with both of these.
I love food and the joy of flavors, hot, sweet, sour, salty with temperatures warm and cold, while having different textures with each bite. There is so much in a good meal. Therapists are the same way. We each have our own flavor, temperature, texture, which creates our way of "doing" therapy in our offices. A good therapist has developed their own style based on a culmination of life experiences, interests, personality, and TRAINING. There is an art to therapy.
Sometimes in my office people are curious about me. Some ask what do I struggle with? There is an assumption that therapists do not struggle because of what they know. Knowing and doing are two different types of learning. I had an anxiety disorder for most of my life. I suffered from depression and anxiety when I was a child and young adult.
Have you ever had a thought that just keeps popping up in your head? These kinds of thoughts can be images, phrases, even feelings that intrude upon an otherwise perfect moment. These intrusions are not hidden desires or even thoughts the sufferer wants to think. They just pop on in your head and terrify the suffer. In Obsessive Compulsive Disorder they get stuck, and play on repeat in your mind. Because once isn't terrifying enough, let's play that thought again and again, and compulsively check if it is still there.
I began working with individuals who had OCD about 10 to 12 years ago... I have gotten lost in time and forgotten how long it has been exactly. I came upon the diagnosis unknowingly when I could not diagnose someone. I was stumped and anything that baffles me sparks my curiosity.
During my first session with a client (also known as “the intake session”) I always ask no matter what the mental health issue—
I am told by my clients I am soft, easy to talk to, and silly. But objectively it's hard to gage when you work alone in a room with one other person. Therapists are trained to be soft, warm, and do no harm. When we only do that, we create an environment for people to stay stuck, avoid, and ultimately not improve.
