This is a question parents often ask when they call to set up an appointment for their teen. Teenagers are often emotional, "difficult" to be around, isolate in their rooms, and with today's social media epidemic - they tend to "always" be on their phones. Some of these are normal developmental issues, ie teen angst, however some are indicators that your child is struggling with a mental health issue.
I wish I could say that in all my inner wisdom I just knew I had to stop my overachieving and so I stopped...smh...that's how my perfectionistic brain expects things to go. But the truth is much more brutal. All real change is.
Well this is one complicated question, but I will attempt to sum it up as best as I can. Overachieving is made up of habits, personality traits, mental health symptoms, our history, and social networks -- which makes for a complicated way through this issue.
Overachieving is comprised of emotional urges, habits, and so much lost time. I was constantly consumed by the urge to achieve, while outwardly it appeared like I was thriving. Ultimately the internal costs far outweighed any of my successes.
This specific type of anxiety and depression is difficult to change because most individuals don't want to change something that brings them accolades in the world, positive feelings within, and intense fear that they are avoiding catastrophes with these overachieving habits.
I see so many clients who have no idea that overachieving is a part of their mental health problem. They come to me with so many achievements, yet they are consumed with anxiety and/or depression, thinking that their inner overachiever god is "good", necessary, and "essential" for life.
Stress is common during the holidays, but imagine the holidays with a Zombie Apocalypse, we would all be affected by such an extreme crisis. Now the reality of 2020 with all its extras can seem very similar to a Zombie Apocalypse. Add in the holiday season and it's bound to create stress overload.
In my office and in my personal life, I am reminded of how difficult holidays are for most humans, without the 2020 extras. Thrown into the mix now is a more emotional ups and downs, sadness, anger, frustration, and anxiety that 2020 has brought on.
Gratitude is an oldy-but-goody thought practice that can change your mental focus from the glass is half-empty to half-full. It's an example of one of my favorite DBT skills -- acting opposite. I am reminded of it weekly when clients start to feel better by resistantly practicing acting opposite.
I have been called "nervous" since I was a child. I would venture to say that large doses of caffeine and chocolate probably did not help my "nervousness". As a small child, I would drink a coke and eat a bag of Hershey's chocolates and literally run in circles at family functions. We still laugh at these memories.
