Surviving the Holiday Stress (a.k.a. the Zombie Apocalypse)
The holidays can be a magical time, with sparkling lights, festive music, and gatherings with loved ones. However, for many of us, that picture-perfect image feels like a distant dream. Beneath the twinkling decorations, the season can ignite an overwhelming whirlwind of internal and external pressures.
Imagine this scenario as your "stress bucket." By the time December rolls around, most of us are already carrying a half-full bucket from the accumulated stress of the year. Add in holiday preparations, family dynamics, financial burdens, and internal struggles like mental health challenges, and suddenly that stress bucket is dangerously close to overflowing.
When your bucket overflows, it can truly feel like living through a Zombie Apocalypse. The chaos seems endless, you’re battling on all fronts, and every moment feels like an uphill battle just to survive another day. If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. Together, let's unpack how to tackle the symptoms that make these mental health stressors harder to manage during the holidays and find ways to stay afloat amidst the chaos.
1. Depression: Be Kind to Yourself, Even in the Bleakness
If you struggle with depression, the holidays can feel bleak and heavy, much like a zombie-ridden wasteland where survival feels pointless. The idea of attending celebrations, mustering the energy to cook grand meals, or decorating a home can be exhausting. You may wonder, “How will I pull it together when everything feels so hard?”
Depression amplifies daily challenges, meaning the effort needed for holiday cheer feels monumental. The first step? Treat yourself with kindness. If attending a large gathering feels too overwhelming, permit yourself to opt for smaller, low-pressure gatherings instead. Or, take breaks during events, stepping outside for fresh air and a quiet moment. Acknowledge that it’s okay for this holiday to feel different—your main goal is simply to make it through and care for yourself in every possible way.
2. Anxiety: Focus on the Present Moment
For anyone navigating anxiety, the holidays are like a minefield. There’s endless worrying about finances, meal preparations, cleaning, or finding the right outfit. Anxiety thrives on details—and during the holidays, those details multiply. Your mind spins with questions like, "Will everything be perfect?", "Will they like the food I made?", or "Do I have enough gifts?"
These worries pile on top of already existing daily anxieties, adding complexity to your stress bucket. Combat this by mindfully focusing on the here and now. Try grounding yourself by noticing your surroundings, counting your breaths, or repeating affirmations like, “I’ve done my best, and that’s enough.” Give yourself space to reframe unrealistic expectations and take things one small step at a time.
3. Challenging Family Dynamics: Armor Up for Emotional Protection
While holidays can bring cherished memories with loved ones, less-than-stellar family interactions can complicate the season. When you're dealing with emotionally volatile or judgmental relatives, gatherings can feel less like a loving reunion and more like walking into a battlefield filled with metaphorical "zombies."
Here’s a proactive tip—put on your “emotional armor.” Understand that these family members are unlikely to change during the holidays, so prepare for their behaviors. Whether it’s deflecting negative comments or emotionally detaching when conversations take a sharp turn, know your boundaries. You can even create an exit strategy—permit yourself to leave the room or event if you’ve had enough. Protecting your peace is more important than fulfilling others' expectations.
4. Loss: Create Space for Meaningful Remembrance
The holidays amplify feelings of grief and loss. The absence of a loved one is felt most intensely during celebrations they once made special. Whether it’s a seat left empty at the table or memories tied to holiday traditions, the pain can feel as if their absence has created a void impossible to fill.
However, you don’t have to push through these feelings. Instead, honor your sadness while incorporating meaningful activities to celebrate their memory. Share funny stories, cook their favorite holiday dish, or engage in an activity they love. Grieving takes time, but small acts of remembrance can help you adjust and bring your spirit into the season with love.
5. Sky-High Expectations: Allow Space for Imperfection
Expectations can be a double-edged sword during the holidays. Although we may envision the perfect gathering, Instagram-worthy décor, and everyone smiling, reality rarely aligns with these ideals. Expectations often rob us of joy, replacing it with pressure and disappointment.
Give yourself the gift of flexibility. Acknowledge that some things may go wrong—a recipe might be undercooked, guests might arrive late, or a family member might start an argument. Your holiday doesn’t need to look like a curated movie set to be meaningful. When things stray from the script, laugh it off where you can. Focus instead on the moments that bring true connection, even if they’re imperfect.
6. Unforeseen Hurdles: Focus Only on What You Can Control
Life doesn’t press pause during the holidays. Cars break down, illnesses crop up, and repairs need to be dealt with—and juggling these obstacles alongside holiday events can feel like too much to bear.
Here’s the reality—while you can’t control everything that happens, you can control how you allocate your energy. Focus only on what truly requires your attention right now. Unresolved stressors surrounding work or repairs can be addressed after the holidays when there’s less urgency. For now, give yourself the grace to tackle one challenge at a time.
7. Exploring New Traditions: Refresh the Holiday Experience
Sometimes, what we really need during a stressful holiday season is something completely new. Trying out new traditions can break up the monotony and create fresh excitement during the holidays. Whether it’s adopting fun routines like holiday movie marathons, testing quirky family traditions, or creating a DIY gift exchange, a little novelty can uplift your mood and brighten the season.
For those grappling with social anxiety, the holidays can be isolating. Social events you wish you could enjoy may feel daunting, leaving you torn between staying home and attending gatherings. You’re not alone if you feel both the desire for connection and a fear of it.
If you can, push yourself to engage when and where you feel comfortable. This might mean joining a small gathering instead of a larger event or permitting yourself to attend for just half an hour. Remember that taking small steps toward connection can gently stretch your comfort zone and help reduce loneliness. And if you need a moment of peace? That’s okay, too.
9. Trauma History: Plan for Extra Emotional Support
The holidays can act as triggers for unresolved trauma, compounding your stress. Memories tied to past events stream to the surface, and holiday rituals or certain family members may intensify symptoms. Trauma, by nature, fills your stress bucket faster than almost anything else.
It’s important to plan accordingly. Anticipate these feelings and create a self-care strategy. This could include scheduling downtime in your festivities, journaling about your emotions, or booking a session with your therapist. Remember, prioritizing your mental well-being is vital—there is no "perfect" holiday that takes precedence over your health.
Lower Your Expectations, Try New Things, and Ask for Help
The holidays can be a beautiful time of year, but they’re often accompanied by stress, mental health challenges, grief, or the weight of unrealistic expectations. Juggling family gatherings, financial concerns, or even the pressure to create a "perfect" holiday can feel overwhelming. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to carry this burden alone. Taking time to identify what you truly need, reaching out for support, and letting go of the idea that everything must be flawless can make a world of difference in how you experience the season.
If it feels like your stress bucket is dangerously close to overflowing, consider speaking with a therapist who can help you find balance and create a plan to lighten the load. Therapy can also provide a safe space to process emotions like grief or sadness that may surface during this time of year. Remember, the holidays don’t have to look a certain way—you deserve peace and joy, no matter how you choose to define them. Give yourself permission to prioritize your well-being and focus on what truly matters to you.
KDH is here to support you every step of the way. It all begins with a single call—a moment of realizing that you deserve more support than you're currently receiving. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, or just in need of a helping hand, we're ready to provide the guidance, care, and resources you need to move forward with confidence. You're not alone, and reaching out is the first step toward a more supported future.
KD Holmes, LPC : Nov 24, 2020 9:30:53 AM
